We come into this world with total self-confidence/self-esteem. An infant has self-confidence/self-esteem that their cries will get them what they need–food, diaper change, cuddling, communication, soothing, etc. If the child’s needs are readily met and the child senses they are accepted unconditionally they flourish. If their basic needs for survival and emotional sustanence are only met sporadically or poorly their sense of self-confidence/self-esteem begins to deteriorate. If the child continues to experience depravation they begin to view themselves as not being good enough to be cared for or cared about. Their birth-right to self-confidence/self-esteem has been compromised. Thus, as an adult those who have experience any form of depravation, they need to re-establish what is their birth-right: Self-confidence/Self-esteem.

1.) Ask yourself, “What would be the worst outcome?” We tend to place excess importance on potential problems-a.k.a.-Worrying ahead syndrome. We have an infinite amount of energy so let’s apply it to creating extraordinary relationships, advancing our careers and meeting our goals INSTEAD of wasting that energy worrying. Take action on what you have control over and minimize risks for what you don’t. Then invest your energy wisely.

2.) Disengage the nagging, negative internal critical voice. That negative internal critical voice can keep anyone stuck. To disengage the internal voice, imagine a volume control and lower the volume. Or simply change the internal voice to the Disney Channel. Do you think you could take Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck seriously if they were criticizing you? The point is to disengage the critical voice by altering the way it nags at you. If you hear your own voice or a critical parent voice nagging you, it will paralyze you. If you hear a funny voice, you laugh and maybe hear the irony of your negative internal critic and continue onward.

3.) When doing something for the first time, imagine that you have already done it. Close your eyes, then, vividly imagine you succeeding at what you are planning to do for the first time. The mind does NOT know the difference between something VIVIDLY imagined and something real. Make it vivid by involving all 5 senses.

4.) Find someone who is already confident in the area of expertise you need and watch how they do it. Model as many of their behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs for the context you want to be confident in. How can you do this? Talk with them if you have access to them. If you don’t have access to them, get as much exposure to them as you can. This could be talking to people who know the person and/or buying their products if they have some.

5.) Act “As-if.” Act as-if you already have the habit/behavior you desire. If you were confident, “How would you be feeling? What would you be doing? How would you be speaking? What would you be thinking? What would you tell yourself-self-talk?” By asking yourself these questions, you compel yourself to answer them by going into a confident state. You will then be acting “As-if” you are confident. As you continue to act “As-If” you will notice you are acting less and less as your behavior becomes a habit. Within 30 to 45 days you’ll develop it into a natural habit/behavior.

6.) Project yourself into the future and ask if what you’re faced with is as onerous as you fear. This might be a bit morbid and yet this works tremendously well. Imagine yourself on your deathbed looking back over your life. You are surrounded by your friends and family. You’re reviewing your life. Is what you’re faced with now even going to pop up? That’s highly unlikely. Keeping things in proper perspective really diminishes fear.

7.) Remember that you lose out on 100% of the opportunities that you never go for. Nothing ventured-Nothing gained. To get what you want, ask for it. If you consistently ask people for what you want, you will get it. As you think about your goals and what you are striving for, how effective would it be for you to believe that several people out there want to and would be willing to help you if you only ask? People will help because they know they might need help in the future and you might be a source. Whether that is true or not in the “real world” is irrelevant. The belief is empowering, I invite you to adopt it.

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Mary Chapin Carpenter has a line in one of her songs that goes, “Sometimes you’re the windshield; sometimes you’re the bug.” When I’ve suddenly lost my confidence, I feel more like the bug, than the windshield.

When this happens, it’s easy to replay the situation over and over again, hoping for a different ending. This usually only makes me feel worse. What I really need is something to remind me that being the “bug” is a temporary state. I don’t think I’m alone here. All of us need confidence boosters at some time in our lives. Here are a four quick tips for boosting your confidence:

Remember a Time When You Were Confident

Write down a past experience that gave confidence. Think about why this experience made you feel confident. Who was involved? What happened? What did you do? Be as detailed about this experience as you can so that it is vivid in your mind. Refer to this experience to remind you that you have been confident before and will be again!

Make a Success Album

Use a 3×5 card to write down things you’ve been successful at in the past. In this case, success is anything you’ve done that’s made you proud of yourself. It may be cleaning out your closets or bringing in a big account for work. Put the cards in a photo album. When your confidence is low, read the cards in your album to remind you that you’ve been successful in the past.

Affirm Your Confidence

Leave written affirmations on sticky notes in places where you will see them regularly. The notes can contain action affirmations, such as “You Can Do It” or a favorite confidence-building quote. It’s best to use short phrases that are easily remembered and always use positive words. For example, it’s better to say “I AM successful” rather than “I am not a failure.” When you see the affirmation, it’s also helpful to say it aloud, rather than reading it to yourself.

Let Your Answering Machine Pickup Your Confidence

Ask friends to call your answering machine and leave positive comments about your strengths, talents and what makes you special to them. When things aren’t going well, listen to these comments to remind you that there are people who believe you are talented and very special.

Use these ideas to recharge your confidence. They’re simple to do and useful to anyone who experiences a sudden loss of confidence or needs a confidence boost. They’ll help remind you to be the windshield and not the bug!

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These concepts derive from each other and can be interchanged. Self-worth refers to man’s value, whereas his self-esteem is the expression of this value towards the external world.

What is a person’s self-esteem?

Self-esteem is a form of spiritual state, a spiritual infrastructure, on which a person’s spiritual forces develop. It is also an attribute, an urge and a unique creative energy, which may be either negative or positive. Positive energy raises self-esteem, thereby encouraging positive development. Negative energy, in contrast, lowers self-esteem and in so doing, inhibits or arrests this positive development and encourages a negative one. It will be easier to better understand the meaning of self-esteem if we view it from our own perspective and from God’s.

From our perspective, it is the level of self-esteem we perceive ourselves to have, by which we appreciate and present ourselves to the outside world, and by which we also act and react. This is also the level at which we appreciate the other. As this level tends to shift, it should be seen as subjective.

From God’s perspective, this is a person’s true self-esteem and its level is steady. This level follows from Gods declaration that man was created in His image. It is this level which the Divine attempts to persuade us to accept as proper and to act in accordance with. Our divine purpose, as well as His expectations for its realization and implementation, is also based on this level. This level is always higher, sometimes far higher than our subjective self-esteem. In other words: Our perceived self-worth is significantly lower than the true one.

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Having a lack of self confidence has stopped millions of people from fulfilling their purpose in life; don’t let that happen to you. You have great things to do with your life that no one else can do. Here are 3 keys to help you increase your self confidence so that you can reach your purpose in life.

1. Focus on your positives.
You have more talents and abilities than you give yourself credit for. If you want to increase your self confidence you have to begin to focus on your positives and not your perceived negatives. Every time that you find yourself talking bad about yourself force yourself to stop even if you are in mid-sentence. The more you think about yourself in a positive way the more your self confidence will increase.

2. Get a mentor.
Find someone that you can be mentored or coached under. A mentor or coach will be able to help you do things that will increase your confidence. They will be there to be an encouragement to you as well as give you a good kick in the rear when you need. Everyone that has ever been successful in life has had a mentor or coach. You will be amazed how much this will help your confidence.

3. Surround yourself with people that believe in you.
This may not always be easy because sometimes your family, the ones you usually are around the most, can be the people that make you doubt yourself. Find ways of getting around people that believe in you and your potential. If you are always around people that discourage you it will be very difficult stay motivated and positive.
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When you learn how to gain self-confidence, the overall result would only be advantageous to you. Professionally, a self-confident person easily gets hired and promoted. In terms of relationships, a self-confident person attracts more people. In transactions and negotiations, a self-confident person can hold his or her own by being assertive. How to gain self-confidence is a matter you must look into closely, because as you can see, this would have far-reaching effects in your life.

People get confidence in a number of ways. Some take it from achievement, others from being loved, others by being productive for the sake of contributing something to the world.

To know how you could go about boosting your self-confidence, you should first know yourself. Everything starts here. When you know who you are, what your strengths are, what your limits are, you can then conquer your fears, you can steel yourself to do the things you have to do.

Knowing your strengths alone will already do more than half the work of boosting your self-confidence. When you know you can do things, when you know you can achieve what you aim for, your esteem of yourself (the way you value yourself) is boosted.

Knowing your limits, on the other hand, is equally crucial in knowing how to gain self-confidence. Because you know that you cannot do certain things, you will not thrust yourself into tasks that you are reasonably assured to fail.

It is failure that pushes people into depression and insecurities. When you avoid instances that would encourage this, you are saving yourself from the risk and the pain of failure, and you are doing yourself a favor by collecting victories and avoiding instances of defeat.

However, you will never know what true confidence-boosting success really means until you fail and learn from your mistakes.

In knowing how to gain self-confidence, you are holding a full house in your hands. Play your cards well, deal with life with a rosy outlook through a robust self-esteem, and you will be collecting feathers in you cap in no time.

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How successful would you be with Tiger-like confidence? Tiger Woods is known for having one of the best mental games in the world of sports. Why do sports-minded people think that Woods is so mentally strong?

Maybe Tiger is successful because of his ability to come from behind and close better than anyone. Maybe Tiger is so good because he can achieve a zone focus on command under extreme pressure. Maybe Tiger is so successful because he simply thinks he can win every time he plays.

Likely, it is all of the above! However, what really separates champions, such as Tiger Woods, Maria Sharapova, and Brett Favre, from the rest of the competitors is unwavering self-confidence.

Tiger has tons of confidence that developed from hours and hours of training, superior coaching, and much past success. But he also thinks in ways that support his confidence.

You may not have the luxury of Tiger-like success to bolster your confidence, but you can get the best coaching and train harder than anyone else in your sport.

However, training harder and working with the best coaches do not guarantee that you will achieve Tiger-like confidence in sports.

Why do so many athletes, despite past success, massive amounts of training, and superior coaching, not develop the confidence to believe fully in their ability?

From my experience as a mental game coach, these athletes sabotage their own confidence with unrealistic and strict expectations, doubt, and negative self-labels or self-descriptions.

At any one time, you either add to or take down your own level of confidence. Having Tiger-like confidence means that all the practice, training, and coaching you get leads to higher, consistent levels of *competitive* self-confidence.

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Confidence does not only affect people in North America or people of a certain age group. It’s a world wide problem that people of all ages can have. When one is facing self doubt or low self esteem it can ruin their day, stop you from having fun and maybe even prohibit you from achieving your goals. You can make yourself feel worse than anyone else can. However to regain your confidence, confidence building exercises may help give you that boost you need.

Some of the most common confidence problems include, being afraid to do public speaking, being afraid to engage in a conversation with others, not being able to say no to others, not believing in your self, and also being afraid to go out there and take risks because your lack of confidence is holding you back.

However through hard work and determination confidence is an achievable skill. When frequently practiced, confidence building exercises can be an excellent way to help you build your self esteem or deal with your confidence issues.

Some confidence building exercises include standing up closing your eyes and imaging a circle which you can step into and do things that you would have never dreamed about doing. Take for example public speaking, you would say goodbye to all your thoughts that are not confident, take courage and step into your circle. With every step you take in the circle your confidence should grow. Another confidence exercise involves learning different breathing techniques so that you can relax and control your fear. Hypnosis is another technique you can use to relax and will also help you become more assertive.

Confidence problems are something that no individual should have. By continuously doing some confidence building exercises you’ll slowly but surely get over your fears and be that person you deserve to be.

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Self confidence is a major part of success. Self confidence will make people feel comfortable to trust and do business with you if you exude self confidence. Without it though, you will have a hard time convincing people that you can be trusted and will do what you tell them you will do. It’s not that you won’t but you have to remember that everything in life is about perception. You have to give people the perception that you are on the ball. Without self confidence it is very hard to do that. Here are 3 keys to increasing your self confidence even if it is just perceived that way from other people.

1. Look people in the eye.
If you aren’t able to look people in the eye, it makes it look like you have something to hide. Force yourself to look people in the way when you are talking with them. This one thing can dramatically improve people’s perception of your self confidence.

2. Be clear when you talk.
If you talk real soft, mumble, or stutter when you are nervous, you are telling people that they can walk all over you. Of course you don’t have to shout but talking with a good firm voice that lets people know that you know what you talking about will make them believe what you are saying. Practice talking to yourself in your mirror at home. Watch the way you talk and improve the things that you think are signs that say you lack self confidence.

3. Give off confident body posture.
When you are talking to people, make sure that you are standing up straight and giving off body posture that lets people know that you are confident in yourself. Some of the body posture that says you aren’t confident is slouching, hanging your head, fidgeting, and looking everywhere else but at the person you are talking too.

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Self-confidence is an attitude that allows people to have positive, realistic views of themselves and situations that involve them. People who are self-confident show that they have control over their lives and their abilities, no matter what happens. They believe that they will be able to do what they set their mind to with a positive outcome.

However, self-confident people don’t always expect to be able to do everything by themselves or to do everything correctly. They know when they need help and they are willing to recognize it.

Self-confidence doesn’t necessarily enter into every aspect of a person’s life. For example, someone may exhibit self-confidence at home but not at work, or during certain situations and not others. Everyone has some areas of their life that they feel more confident about than others.

You can be very confident when you speak in public. However, when it’s time to play sports with friends or people you don’t know, you feel insecure and maybe lonely.

Lots of people generalize and think that if they can’t do a particular thing, they don’t have self-confidence at all. Self-confidence or lack of it is context-specific.

Examine now the different areas of your life and notice how much confident you are in each area. Use a 1 to 10 scale. You may be a 6 (somewhat confident) in knowing that you attract success in your life, 1 (no confidence) in knowing that you’re a beautiful person or you can be a 10 in public speaking.

It’s only natural to feel uneasy about situations that you don’t have total control of or don’t know much about. People who think they can solve any problem and can control everything are not confident. They are arrogant. Confidence doesn’t exclude humility.

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Did you know that most self confidence problems originate in childhood? For this reason, it is particularly important to pay attention to children’s self confidence - in other words, to help them develop self confidence. They will thank you for it later in life!

To develop self confidence, one factor is more important than all the others - unconditional love an approval. If you have that, little else matters - though of course, instilling a sense of self-discipline is also important. Love and approval are right at the center of the confidence issue, though. This is how we tell children that they are appreciated and that they are perfect in exactly the way that they are. If we delay giving approval, or if we appreciate our children for their potential rather than for what they are right at the present moment, we are setting the scene for serious self confidence issues down the road. Many a well meaning parent has fallen into this trap.

It is very difficult to help your children develop self confidence if you don’t ahve good self-confidence yourself - it’s sort of like the blind leading the blind. Ideally, if you yourself have issues with regard to self-confidence, you will try to work them out. You can do this with therapy, or by participating in a course, group or workshop, or just by thinking, reading and working through your issues on your own. We vary in our approach to issues like this. While therapy is generally a great idea, some of us really do better exploring problems on our own.

What happens if a parent has poor self confidence? The problem is that we tend to project our own self-image onto our children. Some people have a greater tendency than others to do this, but no-one is completely immune to it. Then, if you are projecting what you think of yourself onto your son or daughter,and you have poor self confidence, the message you send out will be a disapproving one. It’s hard to develp self confidence under those circumstances. Remember that you are you, and your child is your child - he or she has a separate life with its own unique set of challenges. Support your child in all of his or her endeavors - that’s what you’re there for. While gentle correction and an insistance on self-discipline is helpful, disapproval isn’t. Take a good look at your parenting, and do your best to help your child develop self-confidence.

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